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Basically, a Number One is seen as the ultimate accolade in pop music. Most artists are never able to recover from having one and it becomes the millstone around their necks to which all subsequent releases are compared.

The celebrated, of course, are apt to fall into a world of drugs, drink, broken marriages and bankruptcy but even this is given the glamour treatment instead of the squalid misery that it is in reality. The majority of Number One’s are achieved early on in the artist’s public career and before they have been able to establish reputations and build a solid fan base.

Be ready to dip your hands in the lucky bag of life, gather the storm clouds of fantasy and anoint your own genius.

TO RECEIVE THIS GUARANTEE PLEASE WRITE TO KLF PUBLICATIONS, BOX 283, HP21 7HG, U. WITH YOUR NAME, ADDRESS AND A PHOTOCOPY OF YOUR PURCHASE RECEIPT AND AN S. “HOW TO HAVE A NUMBER ONE – THE EASY WAY” Be ready to ride the big dipper of the mixed metaphor.

If parts get too boring just fast forward – all the way to the end if need be.